Did your mother ever say, "don't make faces or your face will get stuck like that." I swear no-one warned me, it just seemed to happen. Thank you for commenting. Ain't none of us getting any younger. Voted up and more. (Photo by Colin Davey/Evening Standard/Hulton Archive/Getty Images) You want to know the real signs of aging? I work with a bunch of guys well into their seventies (and still wanting to work) they are more active and fitter than many of the thirty year olds we see on our buses...Something seriously wrong there! 1. We hope you will find these old people steve puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh. Voted up. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. I wonder if Japans high elderly population is because of their longevity vs ours? U. S. Census (65+ in the United States , Table 2.1). Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any. When you go out your energy runs out before your money does. 35 Signs That You're Definitely Getting Old(er) By Ann Brenoff. I think those would have stumped oldsters 10 years ago, however. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on March 01, 2015: Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on March 01, 2015: This is an interesting and very amusing hub, Catherine! Thanks for the laugh. I wish I had thought of "recycled teenager." The oldest of the baby-boomers turned 65 in 2011. 3. Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep. 5. Great hub! I laugh every time I reread this hub. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on March 03, 2015: Thanks for your comment Mel: My phone number as a young teen was Astoria 8 followed by 4 numbers I no longer remember. travmaj from australia on March 06, 2015: I have to admit it - I identified with most of this, of course I'm still wondering how ageing happened to me! I know that getting old is a serious matter, but we have gathered together a whole gaggle of "you know you're getting old when...." jokes, comments & great one liners overheard in bars, on the streets, television & over the internet. 82.76 % / 1586 votes. Thanks so much for your enthusiastic sharing. Few women admit their age; few men act it. You know you are getting old if … You think a "vine" is something that grows in the garden. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal. I know that getting old is a serious matter, but we have gathered together a whole gaggle of "you know you're getting old when...." jokes, comments & great one liners overheard in bars, on the streets, television & over the internet. I'm glad I made you laugh. But I'm glad we could share a laugh about the foibles of aging. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. instead of a year. 82.89 % / 1444 votes. Thank you so much, Ann. Denise McGill from Fresno CA on March 18, 2015: So funny, thanks for the laugh. Have you had this feeling when you look at the people you have known for a long time and you notice that they are looking old—how did they get older when I haven’t gotten any older? Up FUNNY shared pinned Tweeted. (I'd list them if I could be bothered.). I'd forgotten about candy cigarettes. Thanks for the votes and shares. Mary615: What can we do about aging except laugh. Love the 'rocking chair feels like a roller coaster'! Thanks for reading and for your comment. The best "you know you're getting older" list on the web along with memory lane tidbits, trivia, nostalgia & sentimental journey jokes and stories for Baby Boomers. Just like the NSA today. Susan Hambidge from Kent, England on March 01, 2015: He he, I love a read that makes me chuckle! You Know You're Getting Old If Any Of These 22 Quotes Make You Laugh. Thanks! Thanks for your inspirational comment. You know you're getting old when..... in Elderly Jokes. hoooollly shit! McCain too. lambservant: I came across your first joke, but I had not heard the one about the older engaged couple registering for wedding gifts at the pharmacy. A fun but informative read. 2. 4. ho! You have that “morning after” feeling when you wake up, but you didn’t party the night before. In a hostage situation you are most likely to be released first. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you? John Hansen from Queensland Australia on February 27, 2015: Great hub Catherine, and hilarious but true :). I don't mind getting older, though, as long as everything works! Thank you for this one. I'm not quite the Happy Days generation. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Thank you for your comment. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do…, A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:"Remember, the first five minutes…, Wildlife officials in Alaska are alarmed at the increase in grizzly bear attacks on…, An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. Funny Old People Jokes and Puns. There are some advantages to being old, wisdom, senior discounts, and playing the "old lady" card. What an eye opener. Joke has 81.03 % from 5453 votes. I look at the kids I know and think, "How did they get so much older when I haven't gotten any older." Jerry Seinfeld. Rochelle: I love your comment. He has a t-shirt that reads, "I'm not old: I'm a recycled teenager!". A trip down memory lane is always fun. I say being grey-haired is the next best thing to being a big-busted blonde when it comes to getting men to do things for you. You are so right about what the biggest benefit of aging is. Lori Colbo from United States on February 27, 2015: These are great. This was such a fun read, and I can certainly identify with everything you wrote. Who's in the group?" Sadly, I remember too many 'old' things on your other list. LOL! You know you're 60 when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office. Thanks for some good laughs and giggles, Catherine. You know you're getting old when..... T rivia, nostalgia, memory lane & aging humor jokes. I've heard my Grandma talk about the party lines they used to have, and how the neighbor girls spent a lot of time talking to boys on this line. Denise McGill from Fresno CA on March 19, 2015: Maybe you should!! I love what you said "After 40 time stands still." In the developed world, people who are age 65 can expect to live on average for 18 more years. Shutterstock. You Know You Are Getting Old When... 1. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any. In a hostage situation you are most likely to be released first. I tell them, a paternity suit. Catherine Giordano (author) from Orlando Florida on May 25, 2015: Thelma Alberts: Today I am feeling glad about being old because of comments like yours. At 50 you get the urge, but cant remember what for. It was fun to write. How do you know you're getting old? thanks for the comment, praise, and share. I am expecting two new Great Grandchildren just any day, so that should tell you I am older than God!! You know you're 60 when your back goes out more often than you do. You Know You’re Getting Old When… Richard Basis. You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger. Yes, Bill, I thought you would get a kick out of this one. I guess I was too serious in my related hub. When I dialed it, I dialed A-S-8 and then the last 4 numbers. So glad you liked my humor about aging. You have more patience, but actually it's just that you don't care anymore. Thanks for your comment. LOL. Thanks for letting me know that you fund these one-liners type jokes hilarious. FlourishAnyway from USA on February 28, 2015: I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there. You might be getting old if it seems like your grand kids are talking a foreign language and words don’t mean what they used to mean anymore. December 21, 2015. Your comment made me laugh. There is no grater compliment than a share to your own social media. Thanks, FlourshAnyway, for votes and shares. I'm told my dad and his brothers would listen to these girls talk to their boyfriends on the party line because they found it hilarious. One liner tags: age, men, women. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. Pass this old age joke on to your friends. You know you're 60 when your back is hairier than your head. Some people are physically and/or mentally younger than their years and some are older. Did you know FL where you and I both live has the highest percent of people 65+ of all the states. Custom Search . At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal. You know your getting older when a fortune teller offers to read your face. It takes twice as long to look half as good. rebeccamealey: Do you remember red wax lips. Hang on tight and don't change a thing. Click a link below to read more jokes about aging. 2. 4. I heard a joke about a very elderly couple who were engaged to be married and registered for their wedding gifts at the local pharmacy. Little kids want to help you cross the street even if you’re just walking along the sidewalk.